She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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