Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize