OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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