whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Randomize
