he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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