Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
