He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize