Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
