Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
