Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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