Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
