Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
