I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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