Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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