I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
