he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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