i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
