You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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