my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize