Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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