I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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