wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
