I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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