My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
