I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
