I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He better not be in your backpack
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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