he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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