DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
