turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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