I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He passed out mid-signature
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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