Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
