I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my being single is dangerous.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
