I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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