you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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