What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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