Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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