I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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