i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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