I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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