mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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