So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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