i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
