Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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