Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
