We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
