So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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