I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
