It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
