so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
