don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
