i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
