I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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