First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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