my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
