You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
