didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
