also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
