how can u be prego again
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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